The ingredients that you will need are as follows:
- Eight medium-sized potatoes
- A quarter cup of vegetable oil (or canola, or olive...)
- A quarter cup of lemon juice
- Some salt
- Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip (Approximately two cups)
- Some mustard
- Four eggs
- Two stalks of celery
- Two chopped dill pickles or four teaspoons of dill relish
While the potatoes are boiling I chop the celery and store it for future use. If you are using pickles rather than relish, chop this right now as well. If you are chopping a pickle or two for this salad, you will quickly learn that paying a little extra for relish is probably worth it.
Once the potatoes are done boiling and I have drained the water, I peel and chop the potatoes. The resulting size of the chopped potato pieces is at the discretion of the cook. I know a few people who chop the potato salad to nearly a mashed potato consistency, and this tends to have a very satisfying consistency, but it also take a bit of work. To each his or her own.
Mix the chopped potatoes with the oil, lemon juice, and some salt (between five and ten seconds of continuous shaking from a salt shaker). This adds a little flavor to the potatoes, but also reduces how much mayonnaise the potatoes will absorb. I have made the potatoes without the lemon juice before, so if you do not have any it is not the end of the world. You will probably have to use more mayonnaise later in the process, though.
Hard boil the eggs. I bring the water to a boil, then simmer for twenty minutes. If you are using separate pots to boil the potatoes and the eggs you can do these steps at the same time.
Once the eggs are boiled, remove the shells and dice.
Now add everything that has not been added yet. Give two good squirts from the mustard bottle (this replaces the need for vinegar, but does not taste as severe). Do not put too much mustard into this mix. Add the egg, celery, and relish (or chopped pickle) as well. Finally add a couple of very large glops of mayonnaise or Miracle Whip (maybe one and a half cups) and mix everything up.
Test the taste, but try testing a piece of potato rather than a piece of celery or relish. The potato is going to be more indicative of the taste of the salad.
It is very likely that the results will taste like a bland, acidic, and/or tangy version of potato salad. If the potato salad tastes bland, generously add more salt. If the potato salad tastes acidic or tangy, generously add more mayo or Miracle Whip. Eventually the masterpiece is complete. Refrigerate and serve cold.
The entire process will probably take two hours the first time you do it, but will go more quickly on subsequent tries. That is all there is to it. Enjoy.